Slow Down, Everyone!

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Cameron w bugle

I don’t know about you but it can be difficult for me to slow down enough to focus on the present. There’s so much going on in our lives that we’re always looking ahead, trying to plan our next move.

Never was this more obvious than my wedding day.  Anyone who has planned a wedding knows that all you do for months is plan ahead.

Just before the big day a friend gave me some advice.  She told me to stop before I walked down the aisle and pause for at least thirty seconds to take a good look at the guests and the church, since it would be the only time I would have a chance to make that memory.

Dad was tugging at my arm, yet I stopped and took time to let the image sink in.

Boy, am I glad I did!  I never had another opportunity to look at the church or the guests.  But that image is a memory I cherish.

For one brief moment, I stopped to focus on the present.

Wish I could have shared this wisdom recently as we watched Final Review at my alma mater, Texas A&M.

In case you don’t know, Final Review is when the Corps of Cadets passes in review one last time for the year, and the last time ever for the seniors.  It’s full of pageantry and pride and symbolism.

There are two reviews, really.  During the event, Corps leadership shifts to the seniors-in-waiting.  After the first review, the freshmen, sophomores and juniors return to the field in their new uniforms and leadership positions for the upcoming year to be reviewed by the outgoing seniors.

This year was special because our nephew, a junior, got to march in review wearing his senior boots for the first time.  A huge deal for these young men and women who have worked so hard for the honor. 

In the corps, every day is spent looking forward to getting those senior boots.  The boots are the outward symbol of a job well done; worn with pride at achieving something that literally took years of work and dedication.

I’ve seen Final Review before.  I was there, as a student.  Yet watching it now, with years of real-world experience under my belt makes me wish I could stop the review for just a few minutes to talk to the cadets.

Plead with them, actually.

What would I say if the commandant let me have the podium?

Slow down! Everyone – slow down.  I know you are anxious to take the next step in your young lives, but it will be here before you know it.  Whether you’re a freshman, sophomore, junior or senior, enjoy this – these moments – while you can.  When they are gone, they’re gone. 

Yes, you’ll have the memories.  Just make sure you are living in the moment right now, savoring this time.  I know you have to consider schoolwork, grades and a host of other things.  Seniors have to consider job options too.  All very important.

Just don’t forget to focus on the present. Enjoy every minute of what’s happening.  When you stand at Final Review, you want to have zero regrets.   The four years of college don’t last forever, although it may seem like it some days. 

Seniors, on Final Review day, when you are standing in formation on the quad, before you hear the drum major announce for the last time, “Step off on Hullabaloo”, before you hear the first notes of the Aggie War Hymn, before your outfit falls in behind the band, STOP. Take a good look all around you. Make a mental picture of this exact moment.

It’s one that you will treasure forever.  

I’m pretty sure the cadets would think I’m nuts. They’d wonder “Who’s that Old Aggie” and probably laugh at me, texting to their buddies that I am out of touch.

Yet I’m sure the outgoing seniors would agree with me.  We witnessed more than one such cadet wiping away tears as he realized that this was it; the end of the ride.

I’m sure every cadet enjoyed the experience.  I’m just guessing that they might wish for one more week or even just a day to revel in the experience.

Wherever you are in life, take time to stop and really experience it.  Take a mental picture that you’ll cherish forever. These things only happen once.

4 Tips to Keep Your Summer Job Search from Becoming a Hot Mess

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ice-cream-cone-1274894__180Who’s currently in the middle of a job search? Right now, in the middle of summer? Anyone?

If you happen to be searching for a new job this time of year, I’m sure you have a few words to say about it. And they are probably not nice.

I have been in your shoes.  At the time I had been laid-off and it seemed like “everyone in the world” was taking a vacation while I was stuck at home looking for my next opportunity.  Words that come to mind as I remember that time are: Hard. Lonely. Time. Vacation. Silence. Depressing.

And a hundred other words that all have similar meaning.

Here’s the deal: A job search is difficult no matter what time of year.  It’s lonely because it’s a solitary task; you and you alone are in charge of developing a job search plan and then acting on it.

Job seekers and hiring managers live in parallel dimensions where time moves differently.  For job-seekers, it moves slower than a glacier. For the hiring managers,’ time moves quickly as they are busy with work. It might be weeks between the company receiving our resume and actually making initial contact with us; then more time to schedule an interview; more time again for follow ups; and so on.

Job seekers have a sense of urgency when it comes to finding a new job that contradicts a perceived “lax” attitude by the hiring managers, which adds to our stress.

Throw summer in to the mix, our minds start playing games with us, and suddenly we believe there’s no hope of finding a job until fall, if ever.  We become a hot mess.

But it doesn’t have to be this way.

Here are 4 Tips to Keep Your Summer Job Search from Becoming a Hot Mess

Plan the work and work the plan.  In college we used to take butter pats in the cafeteria and fling them towards the ceiling to see if they would stick.  No strategy, just for fun.  You may think a similar approach is okay when looking for a new job; just take things one day at a time. Trust me when I say it’s not.  A job search is not easy. But what makes it difficult for many is the lack of a plan.  Develop a search plan with tactics to execute on a weekly basis to keep you on schedule. Don’t rely on the “butter pat” method.

Take advantage of summer hours. While your schedule hasn’t changed, many of your former colleagues and others in your network may have relaxed summer hours. Now is a great time to reconnect and network while they may be available for morning coffee, a lunch break or even meeting after work.  Don’t miss this opportunity to share your career goals with these valuable connections.

Go back to school. While things may be a bit slower, take time to learn something new or brush up on old skills. Sign up for an online course, read a book or enroll at a community college; attend a workshop or seminar. While you’re at it, update your resume and LinkedIn profile too.

Socialize. Face it; you’re going to get lonely while looking for a new job.  Be sure to get out and have some fun. Hit the gym, spend time on a hobby, or even volunteer. You’ll meet new friends and feel good about yourself or helping others at the same time.

Most importantly, don’t take a vacation from your job search! Hiring may slow down but it doesn’t stop. You want your name to be top-of-mind with hiring managers when they are ready to make their move.

All it takes is a little planning and a lot of patience.

Biking, Hiking and BBQs Oh My! But What About the Job Search?

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Beach pic

June is finally here and you know what that means: summer vacation!

As Pink Floyd so famously sang, “No more pencils, no more books! No more teachers dirty looks!”

I remember that euphoric feeling as the last bell rang for the year or in college when I finished my last final exam.  It was awesome knowing I had at least two months of relaxation without school responsibilities.

Too bad that all ends when we start our careers and enter the “real world”.

No more summer vacations.  If we’re lucky, we can bookend the summer with long weekends at Memorial Day and Labor Day. Depending on how the calendar falls we may get a third long weekend at Fourth of July.

Hardly the freedom-fest summers of our youth.

It’s been ages since I was in school yet for some reason at this time of year I still find myself wanting to slow down from work and take a step back.   With the sun finally shining I guess I’m ready to come out of hibernation.

Or more appropriately, I’m ready to get up from my desk, longing for a respite from the busy go-go-go lifestyle that has taken over.

Yes, I want to run away from it all. Even if only for a little while.

My mind plays tricks on me, suddenly forgetting all the things on my to-do list.  Knowing that we have a couple of trips planned, Vacation Brain tries to push Work Brain out of the way weeks before it’s time to leave.

I play all sorts of games to remain focused on career, networking, finding my next opportunity and the like, yet it seems in vain. There are simply too many distractions.

The swimming pool is calling me to come outside.  Friends in the teaching profession have free time to play.  Family wants to come to visit. Tons of summer festivals and events.  Biking, hiking, and BBQ’s, oh my!

Even the news is conspiring against me, telling me summer is a terrible time to look for a new job, that hiring tends to decrease over the summer as managers take vacations and a slew of other reasons.  My mind says this sounds reasonable.

Vacation Brain says, “Go ahead and give in; don’t do any work for the next couple of months”.

Work Brain knows I’m responsible and forces me back to reality saying “You know better.”   Sometimes I really hate being responsible.

Work Brain is right. We should not give in to the temptation to relax our standards just because it’s summer and vacation is right around the corner.

Especially anyone who is looking for a new job.  Don’t lose your momentum!  Let others drop out of the job search race if they want; that gives you the edge.  Besides, you never know when there might be a new opportunity and you could be the first to see it.

Should you enjoy summer and plan a vacation? Of course! It’s always good to take a short break to rejuvenate.   Just make sure you have a plan for staying on top of your job search strategy rather than dropping out completely.

Always Carry A Business Card

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business card

“It’s tomorrow at 10:00; will you take me?” said the voice on the phone.  Ugh.  It’s not that I didn’t want to help Mom. It’s just that my schedule was already tight, with a big project deadline and a to-do list a mile long.  The last thing I wanted was to attend a funeral.

To add to the conundrum, I learned the service was for a former neighbor and the mother of a childhood friend. Didn’t matter that I had lost touch with my friend. I remember when Dad died, how good it made me feel to have people attend his service.  Now I felt guilty – that I had to attend.  I felt like I should go whether mom was involved or not.

Oh, that Catholic guilt!  And I’m not even Catholic.

So I worked like crazy, getting as much done as possible that would allow me to take a couple hours for the service.

Once at the service I knew I had done the right thing.  Not only for mom, but for myself as well.

I know you think I’m going to say something like, “It was a good reminder to slow down” or “The family appreciated my presence” or even, “It felt good to help mom”.

Yes, it was all of those things.  But actually – truthfully – it was a great reminder to always carry a business card.

You see, it turns out that a funeral is also a good networking opportunity.

I know, I know.  That sounds awful.  Part of me hates that I even typed that sentence.

This was not planned; it just happened, as networking so often does.  We were at the reception following the service, seated at a table with mom’s friends.  I struck up a conversation with a man at the next table, asking how he was related to the family.  We began talking and I discovered he’s a commercial photographer.  Wouldn’t you know, I was looking for a commercial photographer for a client project!

Small world, huh?  Turns out I couldn’t use him on this project since he’s based in another city a few hours away.  I asked for his business card for future projects.   He looked at me and his face fell.  “I didn’t bring any”.

That, my friends, was unfortunate.

I know it sounds harsh, given he was at his grandmother’s funeral.  My point is that it just goes to show that you never know when or where you are going to meet someone who might be a business contact.  Business cards should be just like a driver’s license: with you at all times.

Luckily for him I had business cards with me, so he’s got my information to connect on LinkedIn as well as my email address.

And the story gets better.  We continued talking and I mentioned a PR contact I had in his city that might be a good business contact for him.  Super small world: turns out he just finished a project for her!

Talk about six degrees of separation.

What did I learn from this day, aside from the fact that people really appreciate your attendance at life-changing events?

–          Always carry a business card

–          Pay it forward. I gave mom a ride; good karma gave me a business connection. Thanks mom, for not being confident enough to drive across town!

–          Funerals can be a good networking opportunity

Can I get an “Amen”?

Got First of the Year Energy? Jump Start Your Job Search With These 10 Tactics

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gym-room-1180016_1280Everyone seems to have lots of energy this time of year, and nowhere is that more prevalent that at the gym.

Just a few weeks ago, the gym was almost a ghost town and I had my choice of treadmills.

Now I have to fight little old ladies, gum-smacking teens, and even the gym staff to get thirty minutes on such a machine.

 

The good news is, my energy level peaks this time of year. I am ready to tackle almost anything: house projects, personal projects, and health goals.

I will outlast these workout wannabes, most of whom will be gone by Valentine’s Day.

I’ve also got excessive energy for all things career-related.

Now is my time to brainstorm new business ideas, organize my office, and jump in with both feet.

The bad news is, once I hit about June, my energy level for all types of projects – including career projects – slows way down.

If you’re anything like me, it’s best to accomplish as much as possible during this energy phase.  And I work best with a list of tactics to accomplish.

Jump Start Your Job Search With These 10 Tactics

  1. Determine your goal, with strategy and tactics for achievement. Set your intention. What is it you want to achieve, professionally? A promotion? A new job? Do you want to stay in the same industry or try something new? Once you have your end goal, add the tactics for achieving that goal and start executing.
  2. Refresh Your Resume. A resume is a living document and should be updated periodically. If you haven’t already done these:
    • Add your latest achievements from this year’s review.
    • Remove experience older than 10 years.
    • Use a professional statement instead of an objective.
    • Use key-words associated with your industry.
    • Most Important: Highlight your quantitative wins vs. job responsibilities.
    • Note: if it’s been ages since you’ve updated your resume and/or you’re struggling with the wording, you may want to consider hiring a professional Career Coach to help you.
  3. Maximize LinkedIn. LinkedIn is an amazing resource for job seekers – as long as your profile is up to date and maximized – meaning completely filled out. Use information from your updated resume to complete your profile.  Take a more personal tone with your professional summary versus that of your resume, telling prospective recruiters why they should do hire you.
  4. Check Your Look in the Mirror. First impressions are made within seconds of meeting a person, and yes, they are visual.  When was the last time you updated your hairstyle? Make-up? Personal style in general?  If it’s been a while, it may be time for a change. Especially if you are searching for a new job, it’s important to stay relevant. Besides, new hair/make-up/clothing can make anyone feel good. And when you feel good, you look good and present yourself well.
  5. Get a New Headshot. In general, a new head shot should be taken once every couple of years. If your company doesn’t do it, then it’s up to you.  Either hire a professional or ask a friend with a steady hand to snap a photo.
    • Background should be solid; a close-up shot from the shoulders up.
    • Wear professional clothing.
    • No one else in the photo, please.
    • Good lighting without shadows.
    • It’s that easy!
  6. Print New Business Cards. Make sure you have plenty, and always carry them with you! You never know when you’re going to need one.
  7. Get Your Story Straight. You find yourself on the elevator traveling 40 floors with the new CEO. She asks your name and what you do for the company. You’ve got less than 90 seconds to tell her about yourself, in a nutshell. What do you say?  It’s that kind of succinct story telling you need to develop in order to sell yourself to others, either within your company, at networking events or to potential hiring managers.  Write your long story, then edit and edit and edit until you have it down to 2 sentences. And practice saying it with confidence.
  8. Increase Your Visibility at Work. A fancy way to say, Toot Your Own Horn. Make sure people outside your department know your value. Don’t rely on your boss, or hope that your good work will stand on its own. Do some internal networking to get promoted to the position you deserve.
  9. Meet New People. This requires getting involved, and the first step is making time for it. Add the meetings to your calendar, make the commitment and GO!  Pick one or two to start with; more than that is unrealistic.  The easiest to join from a social standpoint is usually the college alumni groups, as you have a common interest.  Be sure to carry plenty of business cards!
  10. Reconnect. Make it a point to reconnect to 5 people a week. Send a quick email stating, “Hey! Long time; was remembering our days at X company. Hope you are doing well. Would love to hear from you. Let’s get together this year. I work downtown; how about you?” You may not hear from everyone, but you will hear from some.  Be sure to follow up on the coffee/happy hour meetings.

Ten tactics to get you started towards a new job, or maybe a promotion. Many you can start on –and accomplish – in one week.

What are you waiting for?

The Best Cure for the Holiday Hangover. Or, How to Get Back to Work After the Holidays

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girl at computer-1064659_1920The New Year is starting out exactly the same as last year: with a holiday hangover.

You know what I’m talking about. It’s like someone took a giant pin and burst the bubble of fun you’ve been having for the last month. Suddenly there’s a cloud of responsibility looming; nudging us as if to say, “No more fun for you; it’s back to work!”

For just a short time we’ve been able to ignore any career-related issues. Hate your job?  Even the craziest offices settle down as the company holiday party relaxes toxic co-workers. Then your PTO kicks in and suddenly things don’t seem as bad this time of year.

Looking for a job? You tell yourself hiring slows while managers take vacation, you decide to spend this “down” time updating your resume and developing a strategic job search plan that begins on January 1st.

Yes, all will be better after the holidays.

Guess what? The New Year is here. January 1st has come and gone.

Where is the strategic plan you had in mind? How about the updated resume? New business cards?

Did you do anything aside from reveling in time off?

Yep, it’s the holiday hangover. Too much fun; not enough work.

Ironically, despite supposedly being refreshed from taking time away from work and responsibility, it’s hard to get back to our jobs or the work of a job search after the holidays.

The holiday hangover has a firm grip on us.

The best way to get back to work or to your job search after the holidays? Hit it hard, and right away. The more you dive in, the easier it is.

  • Review. What were you working on before the holidays? What do you need to pick up and what can be dropped?
  • Prioritize. Scan email for important “must do now” items. Do not get sucked into trivial tasks that can wait until later.
  • Plan. Make a list of what you want to accomplish, with specific deadlines.
  • Work. Go for it; don’t think about it. I’ve found that once I start working, it’s amazingly easy to get back into the groove. It’s the thinking about it that’s torture.

If all else fails, make plans to meet friends after work or on the weekend to have fun. We all need balance in our lives.

Remember: Review, Prioritize, Plan, Work. It’s the best cure for the Holiday Hangover.

6 Reasons to Be Thankful for Your Crappy Job

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sitting on couch feet-932346_1920

Ever feel stuck in your job?

Maybe you thought it was your “dream job” and it’s turned out to be more like a nightmare.  Perhaps the work you thought would be interesting is more than a little boring, similar to watching paint dry.  The promise of a fast track to promotion is more like life in the slow lane, with grandma behind the wheel.

We’ve all been there.  And it’s not fun.

Yet even under the most trying of circumstances, there are still things to be thankful for.  We learn best in the worst situations.

Here are 6 reasons to be thankful for your crappy job:

  1. You Have a Job.  Totally understand that you might be sick of hearing this, yet it’s important to step away from the pity-party and understand how important this really is. You.Have.A. Job.  And it pays money.  Those who have visited the Land of Layoff understand how valuable it is to have even a not-so-good job.  You have two options: develop an exit strategy, including networking and interviewing to find a better job, or put on a happy face and stay put. Your choice.
  2. Resume Builder. Even crappy jobs provide opportunities to build your skills and your resume.  Take advantage of all chances to learn something new.  If the company offers classes on-site or will pay to further your education, take advantage.  Additional skills and education will come in handy whenever you do decide to leave the company.
  3. Food. At any office there’s usually birthday cake or holiday treats, either sent by vendors or brought in by co-workers. Take advantage!  Trust me, you will miss free food if you ever decide to work from home, or heaven-forbid, your number comes up during a lay-off.
  4. Colleagues and Networking.   Even if you’re not BFFs with your work-mates, they may be valuable network connections for you in the future.  Establish professional relationships with some of your colleagues and connect on LinkedIn.  Do it now before you decide to leave the company. You never know who might be able to help you land a great job down the road.
  5. Paid Vacation and Other Benefits.  A no-brainer.  Those who are self-employed know this is huge.  Be thankful for things like paid vacations, 401Ks, health insurance, and any other benefit your employer throws your way.
  6. Reason to Get Up in the Morning. Sure, it’s fun to dream about staying home in your jammies all day.  Reality is, it gets old after, oh, two days. For many, our jobs – even if they are crappy – provide the main reason to get up and interact with others vs. retreating into the world of bad TV.  Face it; if you want to find a new opportunity or simply be productive, you’re going to have to leave the house at some point.

You may feel like you have a crappy job and I feel your pain, having been there before myself. Just remember that even the worst jobs are blessings.

3 Benefits of Taking Vacation

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Sometimes it’s hard to get away from it all. Especially with smart phones almost surgically attached to our hands, none of us can really escape from work or other responsibilities.

Thank You, Steve Jobs. Love the technology; just dislike feeling like I’m always connected even when I’m in the bathroom.

Still, it is very important for our mental health to cut the cord, leave the nest and find some place to refresh. Even if it’s just for a few days.

I am a HUGE believer in taking a vacation, although I wasn’t always this way.

Early in my career I had the opportunity to visit Australia for two weeks. This was before smart phones and the internet, so if I left town there was no way for me to easily connect with work. And that was the dilemma. How could I possibly leave for two weeks? What if something went wrong? How would the office live without me?

Sensing my frantic state, my boss very wisely told me, “There is nothing that can happen while you’re gone that we can’t fix when you get back”.

Personally, I thought she just wanted to get rid of me but I took her advice and went on vacation.

And had a blast! Two weeks later I returned, full of tales of the Outback and Koalas and the Barrier Reef and other adventures. I was energized and refreshed, ready to continue with the intense challenges of my job.

Guess what? The business was still humming along, perfectly fine. Although my assistant was glad to see me.

What I learned is that vacations are not a luxury; they are vital to my productivity. Before this trip, I thought that by skipping vacation I was helping the business. In reality, I was hurting it and most importantly, myself. I was less productive, less creative and my management style was less than enthusiastic.

3 Benefits of Taking Vacation

  • Rest and Rejuvenate. Sounds obvious, right? Yet we don’t realize how tired or crazy stressed-out we are until we actually go on vacation. Once away from day-to-day activities, we slowly start to unwind until full relaxation is achieved. Sometimes this takes a day; sometimes two or three. For me, it’s usually a full week to catch up on sleep, get some exercise and have fun. We return home looking and feeling better than when we left; with more energy to tackle any obstacles that work or life may hand us.
  • Boost Creativity. A change of scenery is good for so many things; one of them is that it can really get those creative juices flowing. Simply by visiting another location, doing something different or visiting with new people, we tend to see things with a new set of eyes, which is good for problem solving or other creative tasks. Even if you’re not employed, a change of scenery is always a good mood-booster.
  • Seeing the Big Picture. Going on vacation and getting away from whatever was causing us to stress out allows the opportunity to think clearly and gain perspective. Sometimes we get so bogged down in the tactics that we can feel trapped in a one-way situation. Or we become a Negative Nellie, without a positive comment about work or family or whatever. It just seems like everything is too much. Vacation allows us time to step away from it all and to realize it’s not as difficult or as bad as it seems. We simply needed a break.

Remember: Take your vacation; your well-being depends on it. Relax, refresh, step back and look at the big picture. The office will survive without you.

Own Your Strengths

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Woman with Shopping Bags

Hi – my name is Tami, and I’m a…a…retailer. 

Yes, I’ve known this for quite some time.  Why haven’t I told you before?  Oh, I don’t know.  It’s one of those things that sometimes just doesn’t sound as good as I’d like it too.

Being a retailer is not an easy career path, and it’s one that I chose to pursue when I was in graduate school.  Retailing has everything: strategy, products, logistics, finance, communications, marketing and sales.  It’s old fashioned, with brick and mortar stores, yet so twenty-first-century with ecommerce and mobile apps.

My favorite part is that it’s fast-paced and constantly changing.  We had a saying at my first retail job out of school: you’re only as good as yesterday’s sales.  It’s a constant tug between “how did we do” and “what is our next big thing”, always striving to be better.  To be a good retailer, you need to be able to move between creative and analytical in a heartbeat.  It’s stressful even in slow periods.  And holidays – or should I say “what holidays”?  They are super busy when everyone else has time off.

And I love it!

For some reason I understand the business model, I like the frenetic pace, I enjoy mixing creativity, strategy and analytics, and above all, I enjoy seeing the results.

So why am I telling you this? 

After the layoff I was afraid to tell people I was a retailer.  Not because I was ashamed but because I wanted to cast a wide net in the job search and didn’t want to be exclusively defined by this title.  Frankly, I was afraid of being viewed as a “one-trick pony” when I knew I had much more to offer.

So what did I do?  I came up with some snazzy words to convey the type of work I did to avoid pigeon-holing myself into one industry.   I played down my past employment and spoke in general terms about my experience.

The result? In doing so I ignored my biggest strength:  I am a retailer and I thrive in that type of environment.

My advice to anyone looking for work is to be truthful about who you are in the work force and what type of work makes you tick.  Own your strengths and be truthful with yourself.

Otherwise you’ll end up miscast in a job that’s not right for you.  The last thing you want is to be a square peg pushed into a round hole.

This doesn’t mean you have to stay in your current industry.  As I discovered, my retail skills were transferrable to other industries and other disciplines.  The important thing is to determine what you excel at and apply those strengths to new opportunities.

The lesson here? It’s OK to be who you are. In fact, you need to own it. Your next employer wants it that way.

Five Truths About Unemployment That Everyone Should Know

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computer job pic

The job market is getting a lot of attention again these days.  The unemployment rate is either up or down, depending on the day of the week it seems.  There are still layoffs – Macy’s just announced one.  Another report I read stated that companies, fearful of the economy, may be slow to hire despite the fact that business has picked up.

We hear all about the business side of unemployment, yet almost nothing about the less tangible effects.  Although these sometimes are more powerful than anything else, because they affect us on a personal level.  Yes, there is more to unemployment that losing a job.

Here are five truths about unemployment that everyone should know:

It’s boring.  That’s right; being unemployed is boring. I know you’re shocked to hear this, huh?  After all, who hasn’t stated at one point or another that being laid off would allow time to do all sorts of great things, from cleaning out the closets, to spending time at the gym, to writing the great American novel.

Truth be told, without the pressure of deadlines looming, we tend to procrastinate even more than we did when we were busy at work.  Besides, we didn’t really want to clean, or spend time at the gym.  And it turns out that for most people, writing the great American novel sounds like fun but after the first paragraph it’s a bit dull.

Shopping is out of the question as we try to conserve resources. With boredom setting in, we allow the TV and couch to draw us into their cocoon as we curl up to watch endless hours of Honey Boo-Boo.

It’s Socially Challenging. In more ways than one, I might add. First, we lose our identity when we lose our job.  I’ve talked about this before – we all say we’re not defined by our jobs, but just wait till that first encounter with a friend or former colleague who asks, “So where are you/what are you doing now?”

Take my advice: Develop your answer and practice saying it out loud before you leave the house, so it rolls off the tongue instead of causing you to mumble something like, “Uh, I, um..well, I used to… I mean…I…now I, uh, play computer solitaire.”

Our social network is suddenly diminished without our jobs.  The loss of daily interaction with others – even if they are only FAW’s (Friends at Work) – can be stifling.  Our friends aren’t available for us; they are busy working or raising a family or have other obligations.

Desperate for contact, we find ourselves reaching out to anyone who will listen, striking up conversations with random strangers in the grocery store and at the gym.  For me, the dog has become a source of companionship although I think she’s giving me a hint to stop talking when she wanders off to her crate while I’m in the middle of a story.

It’s Emotional.  This one is a bit surprising in that it’s not just one emotion but a series of emotions that happen over time. We try to put up a brave front with friends, telling them we are fine, we’ve got several “irons in the fire” and are “looking into some opportunities”, because we are never sure exactly which emotion is in control at that moment.

Similar to other life events, a job loss can trigger a flood of feelings including anger, embarrassment, sadness, bitterness, happiness, self pity, loss of confidence, and fear.   The emotions come in waves, and you have to ride each wave all the way.  True happiness eventually comes, although it takes some time.

Warning: Don’t be fooled by immediate feelings of happiness due to new-found free time. Happiness is fickle and will make you feel giddy one minute, then crash down around you the next.  Heaven forbid you are hormonal at the same time.

It’s Work.  And you thought your job was full of pressure?  Try full-time job searching and networking, not to mention keeping track of who you’ve spoken with and which companies you’ve applied to.  If you’re like me and add consulting or part time work to your schedule, it’s really busy!  The calendar of coffee dates alone is enough to drive you nuts. Of course that might just be the caffeine talking.  I’ve found it best to stick to decaf.

It’s Filled with Uncertainty.  Financial uncertainty for sure – duh, that should go without saying.  Then there’s the bigger question of “When will I find another job?” Because that, of course, plays into the financial uncertainty.

This is followed closely by a series of questions designed to keep you awake at night with your stomach in knots.   “What kind of job?” “At what point should I just take any job?” “How low do I have to go when it comes to salary?”  “Will I have to move to another city?”  Sometimes this uncertainty takes a nap during daylight, only to return when you are ready to sleep. It’s a vicious cycle.

One thing is certain: a job loss is life-changing.  Hopefully it changes you for the better. Just remember that there’s more to unemployment that losing a job.