Time to Leave

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Woman Having Birthday at Work

Hubby and I love parties!  Friends, music, eating and entertainment all in one place.  And we are sticklers for party etiquette.  We try to arrive slightly after the start time to allow the host time to be ready.  And our goal is to leave the party while we – and the host – are still having a good time.  No one wants to be “that person”; the one who’s the last to leave, over-staying their welcome and still partying while the hosts have changed into pajamas and turned out the lights.

It’s relatively easy to know when to leave a party since they have a definite beginning and end.  A job, on the other hand, is a different story.

How do you know when it’s time to move on to the next opportunity?  Is it a certain number of years, or the desire for a promotion; the need for more money or simply boredom?  A shorter commute, perhaps?

All of those are valid reasons.  It’s really a personal decision, and each of us needs to determine what suits our needs, wants and desires.   Here are a few to get you started.

You Know It’s Time To Leave Your Job When:

  • The first thing you do Monday morning is program your Outlook calendar to countdown the days, hours, minutes and seconds until 5:00 pm Friday
  • You’ve been at the company for so long and lived through so many RIFs that everything has come full-circle: the people who were laid-off in the first round have returned as the newest hires
  • Before you get your first morning cup of coffee you’re planning where to go for lunch
  • Looking back at the original office directory, you are the only one on the list that’s still with the company
  • You know the entire cafeteria menu by heart, including prices and the staff know exactly what you will order without asking
  • Although an early adopter of LinkedIn, your profile has cobwebs due to lack of updates
  • The company loyalty program is named after you [the annual company loyalty award is named after you]
  • The new CEO asks for the company history and they call you

While these are great signs, sometimes the decision to leave is not that simple.  What if they don’t fit your particular situation?  In that case, take time – away from work – to clear your head and consider how you feel about your current job.  Ask yourself what you like about the company and the things that drive you crazy.  Most importantly, determine if you like the actual work.  Sometimes the work is great; it’s simply the environment that’s making you cray-cray.

Whatever the reason, just remember to leave the party while you’re still having fun and before anyone puts on their pj’s.   Now that would be awkward.

The Girl And The New Job Decision

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Decision pic

I had a big decision to make.  The magnitude of this decision weighed heavily on me, my head spinning as I ran through the options in my mind.

This seemed to be a great time to enlist the advice of trusted friends.  So I took a poll.

Do I cut my hair short, or continue to let it grow?

Yes, this was a major decision. To cut my hair or not.  After all, it takes a super long time to grow it out. Clearly this was a first-world problem, but it was important to me nonetheless.

To be clear, when it comes to my hair I’m not afraid of change. I’ve had it so long I could sit on it and so short it was almost a buzz-cut, and everything in between.

After all, it’s just hair and it does grow back.  I become very courageous in the stylist’s chair, proclaiming, “Do whatever you want!”  Most of the time, I’m lucky and walk out of the salon with an uber-stylish new ‘do.

Yet we all know that one miss-snip of the shears and we can be left with a hot mess.  And having bad hair is a downer every second of every day until it grows out.

This time I was on the fence with my decision, having spent the last year growing my hair.  It was time for a consultation. Not sure why I felt the need to get a focus group together for something as simple as a haircut.

Clearly my mind had been playing tricks on me, confusing my work projects with personal projects.

In the end, the decision was mine.  Didn’t matter what the focus group said; it’s my hair and I had to feel good about it.  Besides, there was no clear consensus among focus group participants. Shocker.

The problem with involving too many people in the decision process is just that we all have different opinions.  It may be that we really don’t want to hear the opinions of others; we may simply want validation for a decision that we’ve already made in our head.

Same thing is true for a new job decision.  We need to decide for ourselves what is best for us.

It’s okay to have a trusted advisor or two to provide an outside, objective opinion and strategic counsel.  We don’t want to make a job decision that’s based on emotion; sometimes we get so fired up about a job that we’re too close to the situation to be objective.

But the advisor’s job should be simply to provide a sounding board.  No interjecting their own biases as if they were the ones standing in your shoes.

Don’t get me wrong; friends want to help and think they have our best interests in mind.  Yet they don’t really know everything about our situation.

I’ve made this mistake before, consulting others about a new job decision.

Once, when I had to make a difficult decision to leave one job in pursuit of something totally different, a former colleague offered unsolicited advice about my decision.  And it was not pretty. This person said I was making a mistake, along with some other opinions about my career.

While I understood why my colleague would consider it a mistake for her family and financial situation, she failed to understand that my situation was very different from hers.

That was pretty much a “friend fail”, in my mind.  Note that this “advice” didn’t help me, nor did I change my mind.  It momentarily caused me to question myself – which is never good – yet ultimately it was a good lesson. It reminded me that it’s my life and my career, and I have to live with the results.

Just like my hair.  Which I did cut short, by the way.  And I’m loving it.