Have You Cracked the Networking Code?

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When I was first starting out, I had no idea what it meant to network.  This is the stuff they talked about in business school yet failed to teach.

Don’t laugh but I honestly thought that networking was akin to sales cold-calling.  Since my only experience meeting new people was during our weekly after-work happy hours, I assumed that networking was similar.

Networking to me meant surveying the bar to find a friendly-looking person, grab my business card and go introduce myself.

We were already dressed in our business professional attire. We had business cards with us. This HAD to be what they were talking about, right?

Yeah, it was awkward.

And I wondered why I never got any dates.  Or made any business connections.

Luckily for me I was already networking; I just didn’t know it.

Every year I sent Christmas cards to a huge list that included relatives, friends from high school, college and business school, as well as friends of my parents that I had known since childhood.  That list expanded to include work colleagues and business associates.

Periodically I would call or email someone I hadn’t seen in a while to say hello; that would lead to lunch or dinner to catch-up in person.

As I worked my way up the corporate ladder and made business connections with suppliers, I kept their names and phone numbers in my Filofax long before we had smart phones.

I employed the same techniques with business colleagues as I did with my friends, periodically emailing or calling them or having lunch with them, even long after I had moved on to other jobs.  And I continued this relationship-building everywhere I worked.

After many years of doing this, a colleague heard me mention that Hubby and I send out hundreds of Christmas cards.  My colleague said, “You are so well-connected!”

That was the first time I ever thought that I might have cracked the networking code.

There it is; the secret of networking.  I’ve laid it out for you.

What; it’s still not clear?  Let me say it a different way:  Communicate with people you know and meet; do this regularly.

Networking, at a basic level, is keeping up with the people you know and meet.  To take it to the next level, you build a relationship with those people through work or friendships or however it is you know them.

The key is staying connected. I’m not gonna lie; it takes work to keep these relationships going.  But that’s what networking is about; building a relationship; one that is strong enough so when you need a favor like, “Will you recommend me for a job?” your network is willing and able to help.

Think you don’t have a network?  I bet you do.

Sit down and start listing all of your close friends and relatives. Then branch out to other friends; your sisters’ friends; your parents’ friends. Then everyone you know at your current job; everyone at your last job and the job before that, and so on.  List as many people as you can remember from college; your classmates, sorority or fraternity pals; friends from any clubs you belonged to, sports teams you played on, etc.  List people you know at your church, any volunteer organizations you work with, etc.

How does your list look now?  Do you have some connections?  I know you do.

And you know what?  Your connections have connections.  That’s how this starts.  Your connections can introduce you to more connections.

Remember to carry business cards with you at all times, even to a funeral (I wrote a post about this; check it out here).  You never know where or when you might meet someone.

Look at you; you’ve just cracked the networking code.  I knew you could do it.

The Most Difficult Part of Networking Is Leaving The House

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business cards

“Networking group meets at 11:30; see you there!” 

I stared at the email and contemplated my options.  Should I go to the one-hour networking lunch or stay home and concentrate on my to-do list?

The easy choice was to stay in my home office and keep working.

The more difficult choice was to pick myself up, get ready, grab some business cards and go to the lunch meeting.

After all, it was already 10:30 and I was still in my morning-walk-the-dog outfit.  Make-up was questionable. My to-do list for clients was a mile-long.  I wasn’t looking for a job; I had good clients and lots of work to keep me busy.

Besides, this was a new networking group and I really didn’t know anyone.  Okay, I sort of knew the leader of the group.  We both attended the same high school way-back-when and had reconnected on social media.

But was seeing an old friend to have lunch enough incentive to leave the comfort of my home office? Aside from my friend, I wouldn’t know anyone at the meeting.

I tried to convince myself that attending was a good thing; something I had done hundreds of times before at various events.  I knew how to mingle and make small talk.  This would only be an hour of my life.

How hard could it be?

Networking can be one of the most difficult things we do. Even for an outgoing social-butterfly like me.

In fact, if I wasn’t so outgoing and social, I can see how easy it would be to never attend a networking event. Ever.

It’s hard to go to these things alone.  Thoughts that ran through my mind included:

“What will I say?”

“What if they don’t like me?”

“Will I have anything of value to contribute?”

“Maybe it’s a waste of time.”

“Maybe I should wait until another day when I’m better prepared.”

Geez, I can talk my way out of anything.  Like most of us can, I suspect.

And this was coming from someone who is skilled at networking.  Someone who writes about this subject; who coaches others on the finer points of networking; who understands the importance of building and maintaining your network.

Then it hit me. I suddenly realized that if I was having difficulty attending a one-hour networking lunch, imagine how some of my clients must feel?

My energy kicked in as I got dressed in my best business-casual outfit, touched up my make-up, grabbed a stack of business cards and hopped in the car.

Driving towards the meeting, I quickly outlined my goals.  Introduce myself to at least five people.  Come home with at least five business cards.  I rehearsed my thirty-second elevator speech about my business.

You know what?  It wasn’t hard at all.

The group was small and welcomed me.  We each had a chance to introduce ourselves and tell a little about ourselves.  Unlike other networking groups I had attended, everyone here was actually working.

I met my goals. 

As I left, I promised myself I would return for another meeting as well as get out to other groups. The only way to meet people is to leave the house. Duh!

Added bonus: One of the people I met needed my expertise for a job he was bidding and contacted me for help.  Who knows? This could translate into more business for me.

The lesson for all of us is this: No matter where we are in our career, we must continue to network.

Whether you work in an office or from home, get outside of your normal routine and expand your horizons to add names to your digital rolodex. The most difficult part of networking is leaving the house.

Besides, you have to eat lunch anyway.  May as well be productive while doing so.

Chance Meetings Can Play A Part In Finding Your Next Job Opportunity

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Elton John tix

Chance meetings can be amazing.  Most are coincidental, but some are truly life-changing.  I like to think that such meetings are fate, karma or spiritually ordained – driven by a force far greater than myself.

Hubby and I were introduced by a “chance” meeting.  Sweet, conservative guy that he is, he’ll tell you we met at church.  He’s partially right, as we developed a friendship which led to romance when we were both part of a church singles’ group.

The real story is much more fun; definitely a chance meeting.  A friend and I had tickets to see Elton John in concert.  Close to the concert date, she told me the singles group from her church was also attending the concert and suggested we go with them.  Sounded like a plan to me.

It was a huge group of people and aside from my friend I knew no one. We all met at one person’s apartment, divided into cars and headed out. That’s when the chance meeting occurred.  My friend was driving the car, another person was riding shotgun, and I, along with some guy who was a stranger to me at the time, rode in the backseat.

I remember that this guy was friendly enough.  When we got stuck in traffic he carried on a nice conversation to pass the time.  I also remember thinking that he was really cute and I mentally chastised myself for daydreaming that he might ask me out.

I mean, come on, what was I thinking? We had just met. 

Weeks later, when I decided to join the church group, Hubby was a familiar face in the sea of singles. We became friends and the rest is history.

So technically, Hubby and I met in the backseat of my friends’ car on the way to an Elton John concert.

I told you it was more interesting than “met at church”.

Chance meetings can play a part in finding your next job opportunity too, and when it does, it’s awesome.

Some things to consider about chance meetings as they pertain to job opportunities:

  • Remember that every person you meet is a potential networking opportunity.  That’s not to say that you immediately launch into your “30-second elevator speech” – talk about socially awkward.  But keep in mind that you want to be upbeat and interesting.  Don’t over-share or complain about work with new people you meet.  And DO carry business cards so you are prepared when the opportunity is right.

 

  • We should not rely solely on chance meetings to find our next opportunity.  Problem with that approach is, well, it’s taking a chance. And that’s a huge risk.   A better idea is to develop a strategy with tactics for finding the next opportunity and work systematically toward the goal.

 

  • Chance meetings don’t happen at home.  This is a shocker for some people: you have to get out of the house in order to have a chance meeting in the first place.  Attend workshops, industry meetings or alumni events.  Work your network and set up coffee dates.  Volunteer or even take a part-time job, especially if you’re unemployed.  Trust me, this works. Both Hubby and I experienced the benefits of part time work when unemployed, with both of us finding job opportunities as a result.

I know, I know.  It seems like I’ve taken the “chance” out of a chance meeting. 

Not really.  Chance meetings will always happen; it’s just that we may not be aware of the significance of the meeting at the time.  That’s why we always have to be prepared, including being open to the possibility.

Look at me.  Who knew that I would meet the love of my life in the back seat of a car on the way to an Elton John concert?  Okay; at church.  Sheesh, Hubby, I know you want it told your way.

Just remember to be prepared. Chance meetings have a way of surprising us when we least expect them.

Invest In Your Career Future

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Bride Holding Bouquet

Hubby and I just celebrated our wedding anniversary.  It’s been an awesome fifteen years!  Or wait, is it twenty?  No, maybe seventeen.  Let’s see: 2014, minus 1996, equals eighteen.

Stop laughing – it’s hard to remember when you’re as happy as I am!  Gotta admit that was a good save.

Truth be told, it seems like it was just yesterday that I was walking down the aisle.

Hubby and I have a ritual each year on our anniversary: we watch the videos from the big day.

Thank goodness for our friend with the new camera who took the video; it’s one of our most prized possessions. Especially since the whole event is a blur to us; it’s the only way we actually get to see what happened.

That said, I do remember a lot about my wedding day.  Being insanely happy, for one thing.  My niece was adorable at the age of five, always at my side.  My then three-year-old nephew made a mad dash down the aisle after us as we exited the church – awesome.

I remember my friend who helped me get ready.  Later that night I discovered she’d been mischievous too and had dumped a couple pounds of rice in my suitcase.  Nice.  I still owe her for that one.

There were touching moments as well.  I remember Dad handing me a card from his mother – my Italian grandmother – who passed away some years earlier.  On the envelope was her handwriting that said, “For Tami on Her Wedding Day”.  Inside was a card she had picked out, with a fifty-dollar bill.

I bawled.

Dad explained that he had wanted to take that money and invest it; mom said no, leave it alone.  I thanked him and put it away, awed that grandma had planned enough to leave this for me.

Eighteen years later and guess what?  I still have that card, with the same fifty dollar bill.

Sentimental, yes.  But not the wisest move on my part.

If I had taken that fifty dollar bill and invested it, I would probably have around two-hundred dollars now, more than doubling my money.

Honestly, over the years I thought about this many times.  But fifty dollars?  It seemed insignificant, an amount too small to bother with.  I had more important things to worry about and I just forgot, or procrastinated, or both.

I was wrong.  It was not too small.  Investing that seemingly small amount would have been an investment in my future. 

Same is true with our careers.  We think that “little things” aren’t going to make an impact on our jobs.

Why take a class that doesn’t directly impact our current work?  Why spend time and money to attend industry or alumni events when we are so busy?  Why spend time staying in touch with all of those business contacts we’ve made throughout the years, especially if we don’t have business with them today?

Because investing today – even in seemingly insignificant ways – can payoff big-time later on.

Staying in touch with business colleagues is simple networking.  Industry and alumni organizations allow us to actually expand our network while potentially learning something new. Taking a class is never a bad thing; if it’s business-related, it’s a resume builder and could help land our next job.

It’s so easy to get caught up in the day to day things that we forget to take time to plan for the future.  Or maybe we just procrastinate, because that’s easier to do than thinking and strategizing and doing.

The time to invest in your career future is now.  Every little step, no matter how insignificant it may seem, is a positive step.

Even I’m jumping on this bandwagon, taking a class that may help me down the road.  I know it won’t hurt, that’s for sure.

It’s nice that I still have the fifty dollar bill grandma left for me.  Yet I’m sure she would have wanted me to move forward and do something with that money rather than save it in a drawer.

Let’s invest in our future now, while we can, rather than look back and wish we’d done it sooner.   Our future selves will be so happy.

Always Carry A Business Card

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business card

“It’s tomorrow at 10:00; will you take me?” said the voice on the phone.  Ugh.  It’s not that I didn’t want to help Mom. It’s just that my schedule was already tight, with a big project deadline and a to-do list a mile long.  The last thing I wanted was to attend a funeral.

To add to the conundrum, I learned the service was for a former neighbor and the mother of a childhood friend. Didn’t matter that I had lost touch with my friend. I remember when Dad died, how good it made me feel to have people attend his service.  Now I felt guilty – that I had to attend.  I felt like I should go whether mom was involved or not.

Oh, that Catholic guilt!  And I’m not even Catholic.

So I worked like crazy, getting as much done as possible that would allow me to take a couple hours for the service.

Once at the service I knew I had done the right thing.  Not only for mom, but for myself as well.

I know you think I’m going to say something like, “It was a good reminder to slow down” or “The family appreciated my presence” or even, “It felt good to help mom”.

Yes, it was all of those things.  But actually – truthfully – it was a great reminder to always carry a business card.

You see, it turns out that a funeral is also a good networking opportunity.

I know, I know.  That sounds awful.  Part of me hates that I even typed that sentence.

This was not planned; it just happened, as networking so often does.  We were at the reception following the service, seated at a table with mom’s friends.  I struck up a conversation with a man at the next table, asking how he was related to the family.  We began talking and I discovered he’s a commercial photographer.  Wouldn’t you know, I was looking for a commercial photographer for a client project!

Small world, huh?  Turns out I couldn’t use him on this project since he’s based in another city a few hours away.  I asked for his business card for future projects.   He looked at me and his face fell.  “I didn’t bring any”.

That, my friends, was unfortunate.

I know it sounds harsh, given he was at his grandmother’s funeral.  My point is that it just goes to show that you never know when or where you are going to meet someone who might be a business contact.  Business cards should be just like a driver’s license: with you at all times.

Luckily for him I had business cards with me, so he’s got my information to connect on LinkedIn as well as my email address.

And the story gets better.  We continued talking and I mentioned a PR contact I had in his city that might be a good business contact for him.  Super small world: turns out he just finished a project for her!

Talk about six degrees of separation.

What did I learn from this day, aside from the fact that people really appreciate your attendance at life-changing events?

–          Always carry a business card

–          Pay it forward. I gave mom a ride; good karma gave me a business connection. Thanks mom, for not being confident enough to drive across town!

–          Funerals can be a good networking opportunity

Can I get an “Amen”?

Adventures In The Discomfort Zone

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Tami ebook cover Flat 12-14-13

It’s hard for most of us to leave our comfort zones – even if we’re the ones who initiate the change. Changing jobs or careers–either due to layoff or on our own–forces us to be uncomfortable. Yes, it’s painful and sometimes unpleasant. The good news is, it’s only temporary, and if we press through the “Discomfort Zone”, we will usually come out just fine on the other side.

I first touched on this theme in my debut book, Tales of the Terminated: A Humorous Look at Life After a Layoff. Since then, I wanted to talk in more depth about the discomfort and challenges of career relaunch and life changes. That’s why I put together a new ebook, available exclusively on Amazon.com entitled Adventures in the Discomfort Zone: Tales from One Woman’s Career Relaunch Experience.

In this ebook, I chronicle my experiences, observations and humor about career relaunch, my brush with life-threatening illness, mean ol’ mothers-in-law and even monogamous interviewing.

As my gift to you this holiday season, for a limited time this book is FREE on Amazon.com! Even if you don’t have a Kindle; you can get the free Kindle Reading app from Amazon and read it on virtually any device!

Merry Christmas, friends.  And join me for new adventures, a few tears, and more than a few laughs in the Discomfort Zone!

Do I Know You?

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Businessman Giving out Card 

I stare at the face on the screen, my brain searching for any memory of this person.  For the umpteenth time I look at the name, still not remembering anything. 

The face stares back.  It’s a great picture of this person, dressed in business attire, not a candid shot taken at a party with some questionable activities going on.  I mean, we all love a good party but those “beer-bucket-on-the-head” photos may not be as funny years from now.

Surely we must have been friends, or colleagues, or at the very least acquaintances at some point in my life.  Why else would someone want to connect with me on social media?

I scroll down to read any information about this person.  Didn’t go to school together, their career seems a bit different than mine.  Ah-ha!  There it is; years ago we both worked at the same company.   

Yet I still have no idea who you are.

Probably due to the fact that while we were both employed by the same company, this person worked in a different city than I did. And to my knowledge we never even attended a meeting together. 

Seems like I’m getting more of these random requests from people I don’t know, with no explanation in the note as to why they are reaching out to me.  Am I the only one who thinks we should have at least some knowledge of the people we connect with online? 

Perhaps you think I’m conservative.  Or maybe you’re thinking that I just “don’t get” social media.  As an early adopter of LinkedIn, Facebook, Twitter and Pinterest, I’m pretty sure I understand the concept. 

I’ll be the first one to tout the virtues of these platforms, especially LinkedIn and Facebook.   They are great ways to maintain and build your business network, as well as reconnect with friends and family socially. 

In fact, I’m forever preaching the benefits of LinkedIn to those who are in a job search, and I’m amazed when I discover that many have not made use of this platform.

That said, I think we need to remember that social networking is not a high school popularity contest.  There’s no prize for the most connections.  The Great Social Media Gods are not keeping tally.  More isn’t necessarily better.

I’m sure I have hurt some feelings when rejecting “friend” requests on Facebook, preferring to truly be friends with someone before allowing them in.   Radical concept, I know.

For LinkedIn, I can see the value in relaxing the standards since I’m not sharing details of my weekend or the fabulous pair of shoes I just picked up at the mall.

Yet I still see the need to use some discretion on this platform.

This person whose photo I’m looking at is probably very nice.  My assumption is that they are trying to find a job as it appears they are out of work, although I have no idea since they did not include an explanation in the connection request.

My challenge is that even if I connect with you, I don’t KNOW you.  And that means I’m not comfortable either connecting you with others or sending your resume to HR because, again, I don’t KNOW you. 

Did you really manage everything alone, as your profile indicates, or were you part of a team?  How about your people skills? I need to know about those too.

True networking is getting to know people so they have at least some knowledge of your personality and abilities.  It’s not about finding any and all who worked at the same company, or worse, just randomly trying to connect so you can brag to your friends about your huge network.

My apologies to this nice-looking person, but I’m denying your request.  If you feel strongly that we should connect, please send me a note with some sort of introduction or explanation.  

I, too, want to have great connections.  I’m just not in it to win a popularity contest.

Girl Power

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One of the benefits of being an author is that I get invited to speak at different groups and events.  And that means I get to meet new people – always a plus for a social person like me.  It’s especially good if there’s food involved; bonus points if there’s chocolate.  

Recently I had the opportunity to meet a wonderful group of women who are part of an organization designed specifically to support local business women.  They meet regularly to talk about business issues in general as well as those specific to women.  They want to empower themselves and other women through constant learning and growing. 

During my time with them, we focused on reinventing yourself in your career.  It was a wonderfully engaging conversation.  We talked about almost everything: our careers, the economy, even shoes.  It’s a universal rule: whenever two are more women are gathered, there will be a discussion at some point about shoes.

This was “Girl-Power” at its finest.  Or whatever you call it now that we are adults.

Although I was the guest speaker, I felt immediately like part of the group. The chatter flowed effortlessly as though we had been friends for years.   And I was reminded about the importance of supporting our friends and colleagues as we journey through our business lives. 

Last week I wrote about neglect as it pertains to our resumes and interview skills.  This meeting reminded me that we also need to keep our friendships thriving – both personal friendships as well as business acquaintances. 

This is beyond networking; this is a support system.  And it’s vital to our career growth. 

I, for one, am guilty of neglecting my support system.  Not talking about family here.  Hubby looks wounded, like he’s been kicked off my support team.  He is my rock, and always will be.  It’s just that everyone – women and men – need a business support system outside of the family.   People who are objective third parties.

This group of women reminded me that I need to make my support system a priority, although that’s easier said than done. We’re all busy, and adding one more thing to the schedule seems like a monumental task.  It’s important for me to do this so I can continue to grow in my career and as a person.

I sure don’t want to wait until a layoff or I’m desperate to begin a job search to try and round up my friends and colleagues.  Yikes.  That would be like asking friends to come to my wedding at the last minute. 

To my Girl-Power friends out there, I’m sorry I’ve neglected you.  It’s about time we re-grouped for a friendly networking event.  If I’m in charge, there will be lots of food and plenty of beverages – and definitely chocolate. 

And don’t forget to put your best foot forward – shoes will be the first topic on the agenda.

Over Networking

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Networking, the fine art of establishing business contacts and/or relationships, is something we’re all familiar with.  We’ve all been told that this is the best and sometimes only way to actually find a job opportunity.  The concept is simple enough, although true networking – really good networking – takes time.  Hard to fit this into a busy schedule, huh?
When I was first starting out, networking was the buzz word.  We talked about it in school. We talked about it at my first job. We talked about it at happy hour.  “Everyone’s doing it; aren’t you?”  I’d play along during these happy hour discussions, nodding in agreement that yes, I did indeed have a vast business network.
Inside, I was panic-stricken.  Honestly I had no idea how to network or exactly what I was supposed to do.  I had the crazy idea that networking was closely related to cruising the club scene to meet guys.  That networking meant walking up to a total stranger – no matter where I was – to introduce myself in an attempt to find out about job opportunities.
Thank goodness I didn’t try this tactic.  At best, I would have appeared to be socially challenged. At worst, well, let’s not go there.
One thing I had going for me is that I’m good at relationship building and staying in touch with people.   As my career progressed, I made a point to periodically call or email past colleagues just to stay in touch.  I thought it was a nice gesture, something that I would have appreciated had the shoe been on the other foot.  Little did I know that I was networking! 
I continue this tried and true tactic even now.  It seems simple to me, staying in touch with people.  It does take some time, but the pay-off is great.  Each week I shoot a couple emails off to former colleagues, just to see how they’re doing.  A no-brainer.  Besides, I really enjoy staying in touch with people.
It’s occurred to me that not everyone is good at this.  Some know what to do, yet just don’t take the time. But there are others who aren’t quite clear on the concept of networking.  Unsure of how to meet people and use connections to look for opportunities, these individuals tend to push themselves too hard in an effort to be productive.   The unfortunate consequence is that they alienate themselves instead of building their network.  They “over-network”.
Case in point:  Met a fellow at an industry event.  I introduced myself – after all, isn’t this what you do at these things? Within seconds of our introductions, he immediately launched into his elevator speech followed by “do you know of any opportunities for me?”
Really?  I just met you! I don’t even remember your name, despite the fact that you’re wearing a name tag.  How would I even know what you’re capable of?  Much less feel like I want to represent you to my colleagues?
This person continues to contact me.  With the same format as the first time we met. And I still don’t know much about him except that his delivery is poor, he doesn’t have any more experience than the first time we met and I honestly feel uncomfortable recommending him to anyone.  
To be clear, I really like helping those who are looking for work.  Truly I do.  But I can’t recommend you if we haven’t established – over time – a relationship, one that lets me get a feel for your qualifications, not to mention your abilities.  Remember, you’re asking me to put my reputation on the line and recommend you to my colleagues.  
With social media it’s easy and tempting to “over-network”, to try and align yourself with as many contacts as possible.  Besides, we’ve all been told that the only way to find a job these days is through networking.  That must mean connect with as many people as possible, whether you know them or not, right?  How could this be a bad thing?
In my experience, networking has to happen sort of organically over time and through a variety of sources.  Great networking comes from those who know us best, not people we meet randomly.  When we are reaching out to someone new, it’s best to have a mutual friend or colleague vouch for us.
In the wrong hands, networking apparently becomes toxic. A bit sad. Sort of creepy.   But done right, it works wonders.
© Tami Cannizzaro 2012 All Rights Reserved