Lessons Learned at My High School Reunion

Let’s be honest: High school for me was good, but it wasn’t exactly what I would consider my “glory days.”

Let me paint the picture:  I was very small for my age and I’m pretty sure the faculty thought my parents mistakenly dropped me off at the high school instead of the junior high.

I dreamt of being popular: the girl everyone wanted to talk with, be friends with, sit with. No way will that ever happen to me, I thought.  Especially since I was afraid to say “Hi” when walking to my next class; that’s a bit of a problem when one wants to make friends.

You see, on the inside I had a huge personality and 100-watt smile. On the outside I was painfully shy, walking through the halls with my head down, scared to death to utter a word to anyone, confident that others were talking about me. And not in a good way.

I didn’t assign to any particular crowd, participating in both popular and, for lack of a better word, nerdy endeavors.

This perception may not have been what others thought of me, but it was my perception. And we all know that perception is reality.  

The one ray of sunshine was my best friend, who happened to be popular. She had the titles, the boys, the accolades – and I was right there next to her. I was convinced that classmates knew me only as “Popular girl’s friend” as we walked together down the hall or stood at our locker. But it didn’t matter. We were best pals and I lived vicariously through her.

Fast-forward many years.

The good news about graduating high school is that we all have a chance to reinvent ourselves, or at least improve and mature with age.  I, for one, am so happy about this. The shy girl who was afraid to speak to others in high school is no longer afraid to walk up to strangers and introduce herself.  It’s amazing what life plus work experience plus maturity will do to a person.

Not to mention a healthy perspective on what was really happening during those high school years. Was everyone really talking about me as I walked down the halls? Highly doubtful. Just as I was concerned with myself, I’m pretty sure others were thinking about themselves at the time too.

And if they were talking about me, who cares? A big WHATEVER heading their way.

Which brings me to high school reunions. I recently attended mine and it was the best party I’ve been to in a long time. None of the worries I had from high school entered my mind. People arrived simply happy to attend, to reconnect with old friends, and to make new ones.

It was a dream come true for this gal, the “Formerly-shy-but-now-will-speak-to-anyone” type, who felt popular for once with the high school crowd. People actually wanted to talk to me! And I had no fear as I walked straight up to others to say “Hi, do you remember me?” Even if they didn’t, it didn’t matter because we all pretended we did.

Two lessons learned at my high school reunion:

1. People are not always as they seem.  The high school girl who didn’t speak was simply scared and shy. I’m sure many who were loud and boisterous back in high school were also nervous; they simply had a different way of showing it.
2. People can – and do – change.  I’m now friends with many women from high school with whom I would never have been friends back in the day, and the feeling is mutual. A little older, a little wiser, and now we have the best time together. We support each other like true friends do.

So what does this have to do with work, since this is a career-focused blog? 

• A similar thing happens during our careers. We are different people when we start out, we make mistakes, we learn from them (hopefully) and we move on.
• When reconnecting with someone you met ages ago when you were both just starting your careers, try to remember that people can –and do – change, mature, learn, and grow.  Don’t make networking decisions or recommendations based on what you remember from that early job. Their current work/abilities may not reflect what you remember about them when they were fresh out of school.

Most important, be kind. We all were young once.  Thankfully, we’ve improved.