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When I welcomed 2014, I stated that this was going to be my year to “simplify”.  Everything from de-cluttering my desk, learning to eat better, to simplifying my job search – making things simple would be my focus.

Hubby doesn’t think the word “simplify” is in my vocabulary, saying I have a slight tendency to complicate matters.  I disagree.  It’s just that he and I look at something and see it very differently.

When he says, “Let’s run to the grocery store”, he sees a quick trip to pick up groceries.  I see a multi-step process that includes an inventory of the pantry and refrigerator, making a list and checking recipes for ingredients that need to be included on the list, and visits to three different stores.  Hardly a simple task if you ask me.

Hubby is guilty of complicating things too.  When we were newlyweds, Hubby volunteered to clean the bathrooms in our apartment while I tackled the kitchen, the dusting and the vacuuming.   I had finished my chores and went to check on his progress, figuring he’d be taking a nap.

To say he took scrubbing seriously is an understatement.  Standing in the tub in his tighty-whities, the bathroom shone.  But he hadn’t finished one bathroom in the time it took me to clean the rest of the apartment.  Talk about over-complicating something – we didn’t have to eat in there; just shower!

So here I am in now 2014 trying to simplify – and it seems like I’m failing miserably.  My desk remained clean for a day; now a pile of stuff has mysteriously appeared.   What’s up with that?

Simplify – it’s one stinkin’ word!  I have an MBA and years of experience. Why can’t I make any progress?

So I decided to do something about it.  I made a “To Do List”.

It’s beautiful.  It’s organized. It should be laminated.  Yet it’s so long that it certainly doesn’t look very “simple”.

On the top of this lengthy list: Fix our high-tech tank-less water heater, which started intermittently shutting off.  There is nothing like enjoying a steaming hot shower with your hair full of suds, only to have the spa-like sensation ruined by an arctic blast of icy water.

When this happens, whoever is in the cold shower has to run across the house naked and dripping wet to pull the attic stair down, climb the stair and reset the water heater. This usually involves lots of cursing.  The dog runs along too, thinking this is some sort of new game.

Determined to tackle The List and simplify our morning routine – and because I was tired of being a human Popsicle – I did what I thought was the right thing: called the plumber.  After all, I’m a smart, educated, career woman, but I don’t have plumbing skills. 

Perhaps I should have plumbing skills.  After about an hour of the plumber’s time and my checkbook ringing up dollar signs, the plumber asked if I had called the equipment manufacturer.

Uh, no; I’m smart – I’m simplifying things, so I called you.  Apparently I’m not as smart as I thought.

In my haste to simplify, I complicated my problem by failing to do a quick internet search which revealed a customer hotline with online chat.  How much simpler – and cheaper – can it get?

The plumber spent about an hour on the phone with the manufacturer, pressing buttons and running diagnostics; all things I could have done myself.   After he left, I consulted with a neighbor who had similar experience with his water heater.  And as luck – or fate, or karma, or whatever – would have it, the problem is not so simple to fix.  It has to do with weather and gas pressure and temperature differentials.

Hubby came home and I was happy to report that I had tackled one of the items on The List. I was proud to share my new-found knowledge of our water heater, recommending that we take our neighbors’ advice rather than spend more money with the plumber.

The good news: I’ve crossed one thing off The List that will simplify our morning routine.  The bad news:  Looks like there are about 100 more things to on the list.

I guess simplifying things is just complicated.