Adventures In The Discomfort Zone

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Tami ebook cover Flat 12-14-13

It’s hard for most of us to leave our comfort zones – even if we’re the ones who initiate the change. Changing jobs or careers–either due to layoff or on our own–forces us to be uncomfortable. Yes, it’s painful and sometimes unpleasant. The good news is, it’s only temporary, and if we press through the “Discomfort Zone”, we will usually come out just fine on the other side.

I first touched on this theme in my debut book, Tales of the Terminated: A Humorous Look at Life After a Layoff. Since then, I wanted to talk in more depth about the discomfort and challenges of career relaunch and life changes. That’s why I put together a new ebook, available exclusively on Amazon.com entitled Adventures in the Discomfort Zone: Tales from One Woman’s Career Relaunch Experience.

In this ebook, I chronicle my experiences, observations and humor about career relaunch, my brush with life-threatening illness, mean ol’ mothers-in-law and even monogamous interviewing.

As my gift to you this holiday season, for a limited time this book is FREE on Amazon.com! Even if you don’t have a Kindle; you can get the free Kindle Reading app from Amazon and read it on virtually any device!

Merry Christmas, friends.  And join me for new adventures, a few tears, and more than a few laughs in the Discomfort Zone!

Waiting For The Perfect Job

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cool seat

We just returned from a week on the island of Oahu.  Hubby had a business trip and timing was perfect for me to take vacation.  Hawaii was everything I imagined it would be: sunshine, beautiful beaches, warm temperatures and scenery that could take your breath away.  And it was great to escape the early blast of cold, rainy weather at home. 

There’s an area along the north shore of Oahu called the Banzai Pipeline.  It’s where the biggest waves are; perfect for hard-core professional surfers.  So Hubby and I decided to check it out.

Timing is everything, and we were lucky. Waves were in the medium to high range by island standards.  The water was comfortable and the sun was shining.  There were a lot of surfers waiting to catch the big one. We had to fight for positioning, it was so crowded.

OK, so we were fighting for a position on the beach to watch the pros.  I hate to disappoint, but Hubby and I are professional surfboard watchers, not competitors.  Truth be told, we hate getting sand in our suits and the salt water burns our eyes, not to mention we are both afraid of sharks.  But if looking cool while watching from the comfort of a beach chair was part of the competition, then we would have national ranking.

We were mesmerized by the patience of the surfers.  Once out in the water, they all sat in a line on their boards, watching the water toward the horizon.  So much time passed I thought they were looking for Captain Jack Sparrow, or perhaps they had simply forgotten why they were there.

Every once in a while some – not all – of the surfers would turn their boards toward shore and start to paddle as a wave magically appeared just behind them.   A few of these would actually ride the wave in while the rest let it pass.   Apparently there’s some sort of pecking order when it comes to who gets to ride the wave, since not everyone rode at the same time.

And most simply sat; scanning the horizon and waiting.

Hubby and I wondered why the surfers weren’t taking the opportunity to ride the mediocre to good waves as they came.  It appeared they were waiting for the “perfect” wave; the one that would take them into the record books; the one they would talk about long after their surfing days were over.

That logic seemed flawed to us.  Shouldn’t they have tried to ride the waves that were coming, to get experience so they were ready for the “big one”?  Some of the surfers spent more time waiting than actually riding, which means they weren’t really surfing.  They were sitting, just like me and Hubby.

This “surfer logic” is similar to what I’ve seen when it comes to job searches.  Many of us are like surfers, waiting for the perfect job to come along before submitting our resume.  And this line of thinking is flawed.

First, we could wait for weeks or months or even longer before seeing a job that meets our “perfect” criteria.  Second, there will always be tons of other candidates waiting for that same opportunity, which means we may not get an interview.  Third, if we get an interview, we may not get an offer.

Even if we make it through the interview process and get an offer, there’s another thing to consider:  the job opportunity that we’ve been waiting for patiently, the one we’ve identified as the ”big one”, may turn out to be a huge disappointment.  Instead of the “big one” it may be the “dud”.

As much as I would love to sit and wait for the perfect job, it’s in my best interest to try for those that at least look promising.  Even if I don’t get an offer or if I decide to turn something down, I’ve gotten more experience under my belt so I’m ready when the right one comes along.

Note that I said “right one”, not “perfect one”.   There are good things about every job and the experience gained is invaluable.

The surfers we were watching were pros; they had perfected their skill to know exactly which wave to catch to get a winning score.  In the real world of desk jobs and cubicles, most of us are still working on our careers and sometimes need to take a less-than-perfect job to get additional experience.  Even those of us who are seasoned veterans know the importance of constantly adding new skills to our resume to stay marketable.

I’m sure the surfers we saw would tell job seekers to “Go for it, man” and “Hang loose”.   Translation: Submit your resume; what have you got to lose?

The Millennial Hustle

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graduation

Remember the glorious days of college?  The stay-out-late nights despite early morning classes? I was rarely concerned with lack of sleep because I knew that I had to focus just long enough to make it through the class.  Yes, there was the intense course work and late night study sessions too, but they were just temporary.  We always had a holiday or a summer break to look forward to. 

Reality came crashing in during my first job after graduation when I realized there was no “break”.  Work was five days a week, fifty-two weeks a year – minus a miniscule two-week vacation and the occasional company holiday. 

I remember thinking, “Where’s my semester break?  What do you mean; we only get one day off at Christmas?” 

Today’s post is written by a young friend-of-a-friend who is just starting out.  He’s experiencing a similar reality-check, although he seems to be working through it a bit better than I did.  I believe I went to the mall to ask Santa for my holidays back. 

What’s interesting about this young man is that he seems to defy the Millennial stereotype, the one that says new graduates feel and act entitled to a job.  Rather than wait for someone to hand him a job, this guy is hustling, working hard now for future opportunities. Even if that means giving up his summer break.

With that kind of attitude, his future looks bright.  See for yourself.

Graduates: The Summer is Not Yours

By Noah Smith; Class of 2013 

I think my journey from full time student to steady employment is one that truly illustrates what today’s graduates go through when leaving college and stepping into the real world.

Students everywhere are studying for finals and going for a late night snack one day, and then they’re at home on the computer looking for jobs the next.

My last day of college, I finished working at 4 a.m. left my nametag and went back to finish packing up my car. Done by around 5:10 a.m., I finalized the paperwork with the night clerk and left for home at 5:30 a.m.

Within the week, the next stage in life had begun: the endless hunt for jobs and internships. I searched job sites for anything in my major and would open a new tab on my browser every time I found a potential opening. When I had more than15 tabs open I would look at them all, ensuring that I fit the requirements of each and would approve of the job. Finally, I would apply for them. I did this everyday and at first completed two to four a day; when I had the flow down, I got about five done.

I did this the majority of the time, May through July, minus my five-week class and the weekend. Of course, I would eat, try to exercise some days and watch YouTube videos– but looking for a job was my job. It was not the best summer I have ever had but looking back, I realize two things: I should have enjoyed my summer more, yet if I didn’t work as hard as I did, I would not have found the positions I now hold.

That’s the inevitable truth that graduates have to face: you can frolic in the summer wind and enjoy it all or you can face truth and know that the summer break is not yours. You have to work to get what you want and put in the hours to reap the reward. Facing reality is the next step after graduating, and then comes the job or internship.

Nevertheless, over the course of this summer I earned five interviews after applying for more than 60. Some I was qualified for and others I wasn’t, it’s the name of the game. Sometimes you have to keep putting your name out there, practicing and perfecting what to say in every email and every cover letter. By the end, you start to discover what gets a response and what fails to capture the reader’s attention. After I sent my cover letter to multiple companies, I started getting better with the wording and how to present myself.

At the end of all that work, I earned two internships and one job. The work was well worth it and I’m satisfied with my current employment. It shows that if you want something badly enough then you will put the energy and time in. I wanted it badly enough, I wanted to graduate within four years and get a job.

I succeeded in both; like I said to my boss, I’m young so I have to keep hustling to get what I desire. There will always be next summer to enjoy the weather. You never know, maybe I will be someplace tropical next summer enjoying my time off.

 

Time to Leave

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Woman Having Birthday at Work

Hubby and I love parties!  Friends, music, eating and entertainment all in one place.  And we are sticklers for party etiquette.  We try to arrive slightly after the start time to allow the host time to be ready.  And our goal is to leave the party while we – and the host – are still having a good time.  No one wants to be “that person”; the one who’s the last to leave, over-staying their welcome and still partying while the hosts have changed into pajamas and turned out the lights.

It’s relatively easy to know when to leave a party since they have a definite beginning and end.  A job, on the other hand, is a different story.

How do you know when it’s time to move on to the next opportunity?  Is it a certain number of years, or the desire for a promotion; the need for more money or simply boredom?  A shorter commute, perhaps?

All of those are valid reasons.  It’s really a personal decision, and each of us needs to determine what suits our needs, wants and desires.   Here are a few to get you started.

You Know It’s Time To Leave Your Job When:

  • The first thing you do Monday morning is program your Outlook calendar to countdown the days, hours, minutes and seconds until 5:00 pm Friday
  • You’ve been at the company for so long and lived through so many RIFs that everything has come full-circle: the people who were laid-off in the first round have returned as the newest hires
  • Before you get your first morning cup of coffee you’re planning where to go for lunch
  • Looking back at the original office directory, you are the only one on the list that’s still with the company
  • You know the entire cafeteria menu by heart, including prices and the staff know exactly what you will order without asking
  • Although an early adopter of LinkedIn, your profile has cobwebs due to lack of updates
  • The company loyalty program is named after you [the annual company loyalty award is named after you]
  • The new CEO asks for the company history and they call you

While these are great signs, sometimes the decision to leave is not that simple.  What if they don’t fit your particular situation?  In that case, take time – away from work – to clear your head and consider how you feel about your current job.  Ask yourself what you like about the company and the things that drive you crazy.  Most importantly, determine if you like the actual work.  Sometimes the work is great; it’s simply the environment that’s making you cray-cray.

Whatever the reason, just remember to leave the party while you’re still having fun and before anyone puts on their pj’s.   Now that would be awkward.

Fainting Is Not An Option

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interview pic

As a PR person, I’m no stranger to media interviews.  Sometimes I have the benefit of knowing the questions in advance and can carefully prepare my response.  Many times, though, I only have a high-level overview of what we will discuss.

Such was the situation with a recent radio interview I did.  I was told the host wanted to discuss job searches. 

That was it.  All the information I was given ahead of time: the job search.  Okay, I did get the time of the interview and the name of the host as well as the name of the show. But nothing more.

Job searches, lay-offs, reinventing yourself, interviewing tips. Talk about wide-open!  My mind raced with the different directions this conversation could go.

Normally I’m pretty cool under media interview pressure.  This time I was a giant bundle of sweat. Thank goodness we were not on Skype where they could see me.  Why was I so nervous? This time, it was personal – it was about me, my experience and my book.  The pressure I felt to “get it right” was overwhelming.

It might have helped to do the interview in-person instead of over the phone.  But the show was three states away so the phone was our best option.

Did I mention this was live?  No do-over if I messed up.

Yes, I had prepared.  In fact my Girl Scout instincts kicked into high-gear and I probably over-prepared. I tried to imagine possible questions and developed answers just in case, even typing them out so I could have them in front of me.   Information about the interviewer, recent government job statistics and my resume were at my finger tips, held in place by sticky notes with reminders to mention my name, my book and my website.

And like any good Girl Scout, I had emergency s’mores on hand just in case.

Secretly I wondered if the radio host had sticky notes about me in front of her.  Now that would have made me feel a bit better!  But listening to the earlier part of her show, it sounded like she was cool as a cucumber.

I knew I had only one shot at getting this right.  All I could think of when the interview started was, “Breathe – fainting is not an option!”

Being prepared was definitely a necessity.  The time and energy I spent preparing was key to making the interview sound easy, almost un-rehearsed.  I knew the key points I wanted to get across above all else: my name, my book and my website.

My preparation for the radio interview was really no different than preparing for a job interview.  We all should know our resumes like the back of our hand, have some career highlights to share and have questions to ask the interviewer. Above all, we should know exactly what key points we want to get across in order to leave a great impression.

The radio interview went very well.  My four-legged executive assistant managed to be quiet and the doorbell didn’t ring.  I remembered my key points. And no, I did not faint.

I rewarded myself by eating the emergency s’mores.  Now that’s success!

The Girl And The New Job Decision

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Decision pic

I had a big decision to make.  The magnitude of this decision weighed heavily on me, my head spinning as I ran through the options in my mind.

This seemed to be a great time to enlist the advice of trusted friends.  So I took a poll.

Do I cut my hair short, or continue to let it grow?

Yes, this was a major decision. To cut my hair or not.  After all, it takes a super long time to grow it out. Clearly this was a first-world problem, but it was important to me nonetheless.

To be clear, when it comes to my hair I’m not afraid of change. I’ve had it so long I could sit on it and so short it was almost a buzz-cut, and everything in between.

After all, it’s just hair and it does grow back.  I become very courageous in the stylist’s chair, proclaiming, “Do whatever you want!”  Most of the time, I’m lucky and walk out of the salon with an uber-stylish new ‘do.

Yet we all know that one miss-snip of the shears and we can be left with a hot mess.  And having bad hair is a downer every second of every day until it grows out.

This time I was on the fence with my decision, having spent the last year growing my hair.  It was time for a consultation. Not sure why I felt the need to get a focus group together for something as simple as a haircut.

Clearly my mind had been playing tricks on me, confusing my work projects with personal projects.

In the end, the decision was mine.  Didn’t matter what the focus group said; it’s my hair and I had to feel good about it.  Besides, there was no clear consensus among focus group participants. Shocker.

The problem with involving too many people in the decision process is just that we all have different opinions.  It may be that we really don’t want to hear the opinions of others; we may simply want validation for a decision that we’ve already made in our head.

Same thing is true for a new job decision.  We need to decide for ourselves what is best for us.

It’s okay to have a trusted advisor or two to provide an outside, objective opinion and strategic counsel.  We don’t want to make a job decision that’s based on emotion; sometimes we get so fired up about a job that we’re too close to the situation to be objective.

But the advisor’s job should be simply to provide a sounding board.  No interjecting their own biases as if they were the ones standing in your shoes.

Don’t get me wrong; friends want to help and think they have our best interests in mind.  Yet they don’t really know everything about our situation.

I’ve made this mistake before, consulting others about a new job decision.

Once, when I had to make a difficult decision to leave one job in pursuit of something totally different, a former colleague offered unsolicited advice about my decision.  And it was not pretty. This person said I was making a mistake, along with some other opinions about my career.

While I understood why my colleague would consider it a mistake for her family and financial situation, she failed to understand that my situation was very different from hers.

That was pretty much a “friend fail”, in my mind.  Note that this “advice” didn’t help me, nor did I change my mind.  It momentarily caused me to question myself – which is never good – yet ultimately it was a good lesson. It reminded me that it’s my life and my career, and I have to live with the results.

Just like my hair.  Which I did cut short, by the way.  And I’m loving it.

Three Basic Steps to Career Reinvention

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your career

Just read an article in the paper that talked about reinventing yourself in your career.  It was one of those employment advice columns, and the person asking the question basically stated that it’s not only difficult to start over when you are over forty, but it’s ridiculous.

I know what you’re thinking; someone actually reads a real newspaper?   Now that’s ridiculous.

Seriously, as someone who has reinvented herself several times during the course of my career, I think statements like this are ridiculous.  In my opinion, the person writing the question seems to be enjoying a pity-party. Hope they are having fun.

Let me share some of the different points brought up in the question:

–  Motivational speakers talk as if it’s “nothing” to follow your passion

–  Workers who were raised to follow the career paths they were told to follow or do what their parents did with jobs that offered security above everything else now find their long-term security threatened

–  When you’ve got umpteen years in the same field, no matter what kind, it’s not easy to reinvent yourself

–  How does one even find their passion to begin with

As a motivational speaker myself, not only am I offended but I would never say it’s “nothing” to follow your dreams.  After all, this is my passion, and I figured out how to do it.

Anything worth having takes energy, time and determination.  For me, even college took everything I had to make it to graduation.  But if you’re not willing to put in the effort, you’re going to be stuck in the same place.

Career reinvention at any age can be difficult, yet it’s definitely possible.  When it comes down to it, there are three basic steps:

  1. Figure out what it is you want to do.
  2. Figure out how to do it
  3. Just do it

Sounds too simple, right? 

You’re thinking, “I just wasted time to read a bunch of crazy talk”. Let me assure you that I have not lost my mind and I’m not just making this stuff up.  I’ve reinvented myself at least three times during my career; here are the biggies:

–          Engineering to retail buying

–          Retail buying to marketing

–          Marketing to public relations

–          Public relations to author and speaker

And this doesn’t count all the minor reinventions within each of those careers.

I get it. Really, I do.  It’s hard.  I can hear you saying, “But you don’t understand; you’re not in my shoes”. I agree – I’m not in your shoes.

Here’s a look at my shoes:  Hubby and I were both laid-off within one year.  Both of us are considered to be “older” workers – you know, in a “protected class” in HR terms.  We have a mortgage and other expenses, and neither of us comes from a wealthy family who could possibly lend a financial hand.

Guess what?  Both of us found ways to make money at jobs we enjoyed. I discovered a new passion and found employment that leveraged not only this passion but my career experience.

So how is it possible to successfully reinvent yourself in your career?  It’s a bit different for everyone but here are some key points that I’ve learned about this process.

  • You have to be open to new opportunities as they present themselves.  Don’t “pooh-pooh” something without hearing more about it.
  • You have to be willing to be uncomfortable.  Trying something new brings a certain level of discomfort.  Embrace it.
  • You may have to be willing to accept a lower title and/or less money.  We all have to start somewhere.
  • You may have to work at something that’s not your dream job while you figure out how to pursue your passion.
  • Don’t have a passion yet?  Take up a hobby, enroll in a class, do volunteer work or take a part-time job in a field of interest to see if anything clicks.
  • Listen to yourself and try not to be influenced by well-meaning friends and family. This is your career; not theirs.

Again, I’m not saying that it’s easy to reinvent yourself.  If finding a new career opportunity or discovering your passion was as simple as donning ruby red slippers, clicking your heels and stating, “Find my passion; find my passion”, don’t you think everyone would be doing it?

But I can say with absolute certainty that it’s possible.  And the rewards are great.

I’m sure I’ll be revisiting this topic again here on my blog.  Stay tuned. As usual, I’ve got lots to say.

It’s All About Bright, Shiny Objects

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Disco Ball

Years ago I worked with a “master presenter”.  This guy was superb at creating PowerPoints that were almost works of art.  His verbal presentation skills were stellar.  At his meetings, attendees would almost enter a trance-like state, hanging on his every word.

At the end of each presentation, applause ensued and attendees headed back to their desks praising this genius and his words of wisdom.  All wanted to work under his tutelage because surely he had all the answers.

We were all attracted to the “bright, shiny object” that was his presentation.

After attending a few of his meetings, I realized his true genius.  He actually said NOTHING in his presentations.  There was no strategy, no goals, no tactics to execute.  Oh, the presentations were beautiful, but they were empty of true business substance, filled only with lots of theory and questions to ponder.

If a company could be successful by simply thinking of ideas without considering execution and outcome, or discussing other lofty thoughts that may or may not be on strategy, this guy was your man.

That was his genius; he was so good at positioning himself and his ideas that we all believed without questioning.

Call me crazy, but I would rather have a straightforward presentation that provides serious content that can help with my business needs.

I recently met another such “genius”.   His presentation was full of cool graphics and he spoke with such confidence that some were ready to buy without asking critical questions.   This presenter used the age-old tactic of rapidly speaking and moving through the presentation, so fast it was difficult to take notes.

Since this was not my first rodeo, I recognized the bright, shiny object approach. 

Most of the presentation was “Marketing 101”; nothing new.   The words on the paper sounded good, yet there were no specific goals, tactics for execution or metrics for success.

Lack of clear metrics alone should have been a red flag for everyone in the meeting. Most disturbing to me was that this was something he had done years ago and he was relying on past success, despite the fact that the business landscape has changed with the wide-spread use of social media.

But he had a bright, shiny object.  

Apparently, bright, shiny objects appeal to lots of people, including executives.  This was a reminder to me that even if you have a great product or a fabulous idea, if it’s not positioned well it won’t sell.

The same can be said for job interviews.  Candidates that position themselves well have a better chance of landing the job.  While experience and education are required, the entire “presentation” must be packaged well to gain the attention of the hiring manager in order to win the job.

That includes a well-presented resume, dressing appropriately, showing confidence, asking the right questions and providing stellar answers.

Shouldn’t hiring managers dig deep and ask probing questions to make sure a candidate is truly the best for the job?  In a perfect world, yes.  But managers are short-staffed and pressed for time.   Doesn’t matter if you are the better candidate in terms of experience, your total presentation will be the final test.

I’ve got to remember to position myself in the best possible way during interviews, providing great information that shows the hiring manager know I’m the best candidate.  Let’s just hope the job opportunity isn’t a dud, packaged as a ‘bright shiny object’.

Do I Know You?

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Businessman Giving out Card 

I stare at the face on the screen, my brain searching for any memory of this person.  For the umpteenth time I look at the name, still not remembering anything. 

The face stares back.  It’s a great picture of this person, dressed in business attire, not a candid shot taken at a party with some questionable activities going on.  I mean, we all love a good party but those “beer-bucket-on-the-head” photos may not be as funny years from now.

Surely we must have been friends, or colleagues, or at the very least acquaintances at some point in my life.  Why else would someone want to connect with me on social media?

I scroll down to read any information about this person.  Didn’t go to school together, their career seems a bit different than mine.  Ah-ha!  There it is; years ago we both worked at the same company.   

Yet I still have no idea who you are.

Probably due to the fact that while we were both employed by the same company, this person worked in a different city than I did. And to my knowledge we never even attended a meeting together. 

Seems like I’m getting more of these random requests from people I don’t know, with no explanation in the note as to why they are reaching out to me.  Am I the only one who thinks we should have at least some knowledge of the people we connect with online? 

Perhaps you think I’m conservative.  Or maybe you’re thinking that I just “don’t get” social media.  As an early adopter of LinkedIn, Facebook, Twitter and Pinterest, I’m pretty sure I understand the concept. 

I’ll be the first one to tout the virtues of these platforms, especially LinkedIn and Facebook.   They are great ways to maintain and build your business network, as well as reconnect with friends and family socially. 

In fact, I’m forever preaching the benefits of LinkedIn to those who are in a job search, and I’m amazed when I discover that many have not made use of this platform.

That said, I think we need to remember that social networking is not a high school popularity contest.  There’s no prize for the most connections.  The Great Social Media Gods are not keeping tally.  More isn’t necessarily better.

I’m sure I have hurt some feelings when rejecting “friend” requests on Facebook, preferring to truly be friends with someone before allowing them in.   Radical concept, I know.

For LinkedIn, I can see the value in relaxing the standards since I’m not sharing details of my weekend or the fabulous pair of shoes I just picked up at the mall.

Yet I still see the need to use some discretion on this platform.

This person whose photo I’m looking at is probably very nice.  My assumption is that they are trying to find a job as it appears they are out of work, although I have no idea since they did not include an explanation in the connection request.

My challenge is that even if I connect with you, I don’t KNOW you.  And that means I’m not comfortable either connecting you with others or sending your resume to HR because, again, I don’t KNOW you. 

Did you really manage everything alone, as your profile indicates, or were you part of a team?  How about your people skills? I need to know about those too.

True networking is getting to know people so they have at least some knowledge of your personality and abilities.  It’s not about finding any and all who worked at the same company, or worse, just randomly trying to connect so you can brag to your friends about your huge network.

My apologies to this nice-looking person, but I’m denying your request.  If you feel strongly that we should connect, please send me a note with some sort of introduction or explanation.  

I, too, want to have great connections.  I’m just not in it to win a popularity contest.

Direction Unknown

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Ever feel like you’re spinning out of control? That life is controlling you, instead of you taking the lead?

It seems like I always feel that way. Too much to do, not enough time.

This is not a bad thing.  I’ve got so many interests that I could be busy 24/7.  Could be worse; I could have no interests at all and struggle to find ways to fill my days.  Yet I may have too much of a good thing – between work, writing, family, volunteering, exercising and other assorted hobbies, it’s hard to find even a minute to sit back and relax.

It happened again Saturday night, the overwhelming feeling of “must do this, must do that” overtaking me.   

Saturday night used to be “Date Night”.  A sacred time when we were free from work and stress, when we allowed ourselves time to simply have fun.  Unfortunately Hubby and I had forgotten this ritual and again found ourselves, late afternoon on Saturday, with no plans at all for that evening.

Guess we just hoped that something exciting would happen without any forethought on our part.

I tried to calm myself, as I could feel a meltdown coming on.  Hubby was trying his best to get into the spirit of a last-minute date night, even stepping outside to call me on the phone from the backyard to ask me out.

“Humph! Don’t you think it’s kind of late to be asking me out, an hour before you want to leave?”  I cried.  “Do you just assume I’m sitting around waiting for you to call?”

Amazing how easily I reverted back to single-gal mode, huh?

Knowing that we were reaching critical mass and tears were imminent, Hubby came up with a back-up plan that most women love to hear: “Let’s have dinner and go shopping!”   Gotta love Hubby; he sure knows how to make a girl smile.  Food and fashion are always a win with me.

While this was a nice short-term fix, we still have the bigger issue of our lives spinning out of control.  A planner at heart, I know that direction, not intention, determines destination.  Hubby and I made a promise that night to work on planning more fun, rather than waiting for fun to find us.

This is true for careers as well as date nights.

When I was laid-off, I took this to heart and mapped out a plan.  Starting with the end result, I worked backwards to figure out how to accomplish my job search goals.  I even wrote everything down on a grease board.  Sometimes it seems like writing it down makes plans more real.  After all, it doesn’t matter how much you want something to happen – without a plan, chances are you’ll stay put.

Simply intending to work on a job search is not enough. We need to have direction – a plan – in order to reach our destination of a job offer.

Even now that Hubby and I are working again we still need to map out our career goals as well as our life goals to make sure they work together in harmony.  Hard to remember this, but we are trying.

Yes, I’ve forgiven Hubby for asking me out at the last-minute.  Although I’m sure next time he’ll remember to plan in advance.

Right, Hubby? Hubby?