It’s important that we each understand our areas of expertise as well as our limitations.  This is not something I’m happy about.  I want to be good at everything I touch.  Some of this comes from upbringing.  As a kid I was taught to rely on myself, especially when it came to school.  My parents empathized with my workload and tougher subjects like math and science, yet were not really helpful if I needed coaching outside the classroom.  Quizzing me on memorized lists was one thing; anything with numbers and mom and dad would just smile sympathetically and leave me to figure it out.

As an adult, this has served me well at times, yet can also be a hindrance.  Much to my dismay, I’ve discovered that it’s really impossible to know how to do everything.  I get frustrated when I don’t understand a concept or have to rely on others who know more about a certain subject.  I simply want to know how to do everything.

What I’m trying to admit is that I’m somewhat of a control freak.  There; I said it.  Hubby is nearly hysterical with laughter.  “Somewhat? That’s the understatement of the century!”   If my eyes could burn something with one look, Hubby would not be laughing so hard.  Even the dog knows this; she’s tucked her tail and headed for the safety of her crate.

Nowhere is my frustration more evident than when it comes to computer issues.  Growing up on the cusp of computers breaking into daily life, I didn’t get the luxury of learning these skills as a child.  Now I have to rely on computer experts to tell me what needs to be done.

Which leads me to today.  I’ve got a super smart computer guy helping me with some web development work – basically cleaning up some behind-the-scenes stuff to make it move faster and optimized for SEO (my knowledge of this concept is so sketchy that I’m not even sure what I just said is correct).  Computer guy sent a very detailed recap of his findings for me to review.  I steeled myself as I opened his document, telling myself, “You can do this; you’re smart enough, you’re good enough, and doggone it, people like you”.

Basically what I learned is that I have the comprehension skills of a five year old when it comes to computers.  His technical explanations may as well have been written in an ancient Mayan language.  “We need to duplicate the H1’s to the X1’s, then erase the A5’s to direct the traffic through the indirect Z2 portal.  As you know, you never want your A5’s mingling with the X1’s.”  After about page three I threw up my hands and frustration set in.  I became irritated with myself because I felt like I should know all of this.

Once I calmed down and thought about this situation, it occurred to me that it’s okay not to be an expert in everything.  After all, CEO’s are not experts in everything. They know their limitations and adapt by asking the right questions and hiring the right people who are qualified.

My super smart computer guy can rest easy, knowing that I will never take his job since computer programming will never be one of my strengths.  That’s okay; I think I like the role of CEO better anyway.

All of us have fears, right?  Some rational, some not, depending on whose fear it is.  Take Hubby, for example.  He has a slight fear of heights.  I learned this during one of our early dates, a fun evening at Six Flags.  We had ridden most of the rides, including roller-coasters, when we came to a seemingly innocent ride: the airplanes.  The ride consisted of small two-seater airplanes attached by cables that lifted straight up into the air. Once airborne, the ride began to spin which made the airplanes sort of take flight.  Very smooth and nothing scary about it; a great way to look at the scenery.

Once situated in our plane, I was giddy with childish excitement.  As the plane rose and started to spin, I said to Hubby, “Let’s hold hands while we look at the scenery”.  No response.  “Look over there! We can see the skyline in the distance.”  Not a peep from Hubby.  Finally I looked at him.  My strong Hubby was holding on for dear life, eyes focused straight ahead.   I tried to pry his fingers off the safety bar so we could hold hands, but he was stuck like glue.

Hubby is not too happy with the fact that the world now knows that he fears the small airplane ride, so I’ll share one of my fears.  This is a serious fear of mine, one that Hubby doesn’t understand.  I am terrified of bugs.  Small ones, big ones, you name it. Flying or jumping bugs really freak me out. Even lizards and geckos are included in this category.  No, they are not bugs and yes, I understand they eat bugs.  I still don’t like them and I really don’t want them around.

Not too long after we moved in to our house, I was in the bathroom when something darted across the floor.  Moving the throw rug, a creature ran out.  I shrieked – to no one, since Hubby was not home – and my heart started racing as I looked quickly for a “weapon” in order to protect myself.   Hard to believe I was left alone in Jurassic Park to fend off this evil beast.  Best thing I could find was Hubby’s shoe.   Cautiously moving the door back, I saw something move under a plastic bag that had fallen on the floor when I started doing my bug-freak-out dance (which, by the way, is something to see).  On a hunch, I started beating the bag with the shoe.  Convinced that I had indeed slain the dragon, I put a trash can over the crime scene with a note for Hubby to clean up the remains when he got home from work.   I remain convinced that I was courageous for dealing with this situation, although Hubby just laughs at me.

Both of these fears seem irrational to others.  I don’t quite understand the fear of the airplane ride and Hubby doesn’t understand my intense fear of all things creepy-crawly.  But we try to face our fears when necessary. Hubby was courageous to ride the airplanes with me, knowing that I would enjoy it.   I knew I might be carried away by the giant creature (bugs always grow in size as you retell the story) but I faced it anyway.

When we were both laid-off, we each experienced new fears, some serious and rational, some not.  We both had moments of “I’ll never work again” (totally irrational) as well as moments of “money could be an issue” (definitely serious).   At the same time we found courage to face our fears and in the process realized we could overcome the new reality of unemployment.  Yes, it was tough and I’m not sure you can ever be totally prepared for such a thing.  But with focus and determination you can find the silver lining in the gray cloud.

Remember, something good always comes out of tough situations, even if the situation involves a kids’ ride or a giant mutant bug.

I love being on a college campus!  Everyone is so eager to learn and happy to be there.  There’s an energy that permeates just about every building and walkway.  It’s fun to sit and watch the students coming and going, stopping to study or cram for a test, engaged in conversations for a group project.  Fortunately, I have the opportunity to spend time on a college campus a couple times each year, interacting with the students and professors.

I wish that this type of interest/excitement/whatever-you-want-to-call-it would continue throughout our careers.  After we’ve been working awhile something happens to us work veterans; we tend to get bogged down in the details of work life, becoming frustrated and sometimes disillusioned to the point of wanting to throw in the towel and open a pig farm to get away from it all.  Pigs? I’m just brainstorming here. Think about it: how hard could it be to have pigs?  Just feed them and shelter them; after all they seem to be happier dirty so no need to bathe them.  There is the natural odor that comes with a pig, and I guess they are not litter-box trained so that could be an issue too.   But you get my point.  We all have moments where we lack that just-out-of-college enthusiasm.

Here are some things we all need to remember from college:

–          Enjoy learning. Just because we’ve left campus doesn’t mean we should stop learning. It’s good for our brains and brings a sense of accomplishment when we’re through.  Not to mention it’s great for the resume.

–          Throw yourself into your projects/work.  I remember being so intent on doing well for my classes that I developed almost laser-like focus to achieve a good grade.  We should do the same at work; think of how much we would accomplish.  Maybe we’ll even get a raise, if not a gold star on our Power Point presentation.  At least we can go home knowing we did our best.

–          Focus on what’s important. In school, we all had dreams and aspirations that helped us focus on the prize – an A in a class, receiving a diploma and getting a job.  While we won’t get a diploma from work, by setting work-related goals we can focus on what’s truly important for us at our jobs.

–          Make new friends (network).  This was easy at school since we met other students all the time.  It’s a bit more difficult out in the work force but equally as important. Whether it’s networking, making new friends or even keeping up with old friends, make time to reach out and touch someone.

–          Look toward the future with optimism.  With our careers wide open and out in front of us, in school we were excited to jump into the future.  Again, sometimes we get so overwhelmed with the here and now that we forget that each day is building on our future.  Try to maintain some of that fresh-out-of-school optimism – it’s amazing how good you’ll feel at work.

I need to continue to go back to college periodically to feel alive again, energized to learn and optimistic about the future – my future. Without pigs.